Taken For Granted

I saw you smiling at your phone when I walked in the room.

Instead of being happy for you, I was sad and jealous

that it wasn't me doing those things to you.

What do I have to do for you to pay attention?

I'm not going to spoil you with my affection.

I learned from my past not to act that way.

I get cold when you stop living in the present with me

because it seems like this is not where you want to be.

Not even the medications I take can make me forget you.

I hope you're happy now that she's taking care of you

and you don't have to take care of me anymore.

I lost you the other day.

You were not listening to what I had to say.

I bet if I was one of your boys,

you'd have a smile drawn on your face,

but I'm just one of your toys,

not meant to stay long in your space.

Tell me what I got to do to be apart of your life.

What is is that I have to sacrifice?

I'm Baaack!

It's been awhile since I've written in this blog. Wow! A lot has happened and a lot has changed.

I'll be ready to graduate in May of 2019. Yay! I'll finally get my Bachelor's Degree and I hope I get accepted to the graduate school I chose. If not, I'll look for a place where I can work.

I have a counselor here in college and I love her because we can laugh and talk like best friends. I never had that with any other counselor. It feels real good. It'll be sad to stop counseling once I'm out of here but I'll be fine.

I have a boyfriend, who I'm happy with, and we spent our first Thanksgiving together. I'm looking forward to our first Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve. He's nothing like my ex or any other guy I have met.

I work in college and it's an easy job. I don't have to stand on my feet the way I had to in retail. I don't have to put on a fake smile for customers. My boss was my professor and I got to know her better. Also, she provided me with letters of recommendation along with other professors.

My dog died. My grandma is not at her best, but she will be. I gained weight. So much weight! I watch Netflix and Hulu religiously. Talking about religiously, I'm not as religious but I think that's good because religion can drive a person crazy. I can say that because it's happened. I don't go to church anymore but I went for 7 years straight because of my sin, so I think that about covers it. I stopped going to church because it made me anxious.

I sing and dance whenever I can. Sometimes it's not the right time or I don't want to make noise for my grandma (who I barely visit because she either complains or repeats herself).

My sister lives farther than before. I'm still living with my parents until I can live with my future husband.